And Why You Must To Get Anywhere In Life

I used to be a sloppy dresser. I never liked that I had to dress a certain way to get the respect I thought I deserved or get people to listen to me. “What a sham!” I would tell myself. “People should respect me because I know what I’m talking about, not because I’m wearing expensive socks.” But then I experienced something that changed my mind completely.

Years ago, I was on the bus headed to a friend’s house. I knew the neighborhood but wasn’t sure which stop to get off at.

The gentleman sitting next to me noticed me looking out the window every few seconds trying to get my bearings and asked if I needed help. I told him my predicament, and he confidently told me I should exit in two stops. I thanked him for the advice.

A moment later, another man standing in the aisle who’d heard my conversation leaned in and said, “Actually, you should get off at the next stop.”

I thanked him, hopped up, and exited just like he told me to, ignoring the advice of the first guy.

What was the difference between the two men? And why did I choose to listen to one and not the other? I asked myself the same question as I walked the last few blocks to my friend’s place. Read on for the answer.

Look Sharp, Be Sharp: How The Clothes You Wear Change What People Hear You Say

As I walked away from the bus, I realized in an instant why I listened to one guy and not the other.

The man in the aisle was dressed sharply. He looked like he was on his way home from work in a fancy office downtown. My seatmate was wearing sweatpants, had a dark stain on his t-shirt, and looked like he might have skipped showering that day.

In this moment, I realized just how many preconceived notions and stereotypes were built into my own assumptions of other people. Here I was complaining how people judged me by my clothes while I did the same to them—can I trust the instructions of someone who can’t be trusted to even keep food off his clothes?

I didn’t mean to make this judgment. It was simply years of social conditioning taking over. My decision process went into autopilot. If you want people to listen to you, there’s an important lesson here:

Dress the message.

The clothes you wear and the way you groom yourself will change the way other people hear what you say. It will subconsciously tell them if you’re like them or if you’re different. It will determine whether they listen or ignore. Trust or distrust.

I learned the same lesson again while climbing a mountain in Russia during an anti-terror operation.

The mountain was closed to all but locals and the mountain rescue team. We got in okay, but on the way out, there was a police checkpoint. Our driver was part of the mountain rescue team, but we weren’t. What do we do? We’re going to get in trouble!

“Fear not,” our driver informed us. “Just put these in your lap, and don’t say a word.” He handed us each a blue jumpsuit with the mountain rescue emblem on it as he changed into his own. The policeman at the checkpoint stopped us and looked directly into my never-looked-more-American-in-my-life face. Then, he glanced at the blue jumpsuit in the seat next to me and immediately waved us through.

Source:riskology

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